I'm worthless and i hate myself
I presume I’m not the only person who has suffered and struggled with the feeling of being useless, at least somewhat, and probably in some specific areas of life. At times, it’s actually been an all encompassing black hole of despair. It isn’t just me that has that then, is it?
I’ve tried to wrangle this mental beast for years. Knowing where these deep-seated feelings came from, doesn’t help. This I can attest to. The whole flip the switch, think positive, I love myself, my life is awesome rah rah rah bull doesn’t help. I think, in fact, it makes it a lot worse. When the Law of Attraction theory started to get popular, I really thought that it was going to be the thing to finally overcome the darkness. What it doesn’t take into account is that, you aren’t your thoughts and you don’t have control over them. If someone tries to tell you that you can, I’d run for the hills.
Thoughts happen. This is unfortunate in many cases, but there is no changing it.
So, so far this seems pretty depressing and unhelpful, right?
Accepting that thoughts happen and that you are not your thoughts is step one.
While we don’t have the choice to not have certain unwanted thoughts, we do have the option of whether we choose to believe it or not. Again, this is not a simple thing, not believing what we think. You’ve been taught your whole life to form your opinions and express what you think. But that is in a conscious, deliberate way, like for writing a speech. What we are talking about here is those nasty bits of self-loathing and self-doubt that come absolutely unbidden into the mind.
Those times where we just feel like “screw it” and “let’s dive into this bottle of wine” or “I wonder if I could make a go in Mexico?” Like changing the outer scenery is really going to help the inner landscape. Wherever you go, there you are. Darn.
How do we even try to not believe it? Seems way too complicated.
It is. So how about if you just question it instead. Take a step back. Get out of your own head a bit. And then just ask, “Is it true?”
Because most of these ugly thoughts we have are lies we tell ourselves.
Am I worthless? I FEEL worthless a lot but am I actually? Does my family think so? No. Do my friends think so? No. Do my pets think so? No.
Am I not good enough? For what?
I don’t deserve it. Is that true? No.
If we simply stop to observe and question our thoughts, we start to realize that many of them are completely useless and not even true.
And why am I saying all this when I should be talking about chicken and broccoli?
Because you can’t get yourself to do the squats or eat the veggies if your mind isn’t in the right frame for it. Most of my decisions to eat poorly are off the back of mentally feeling poorly.
I have some strategies, other than what I’ve shared here, that help me keep a better handle on this now. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no magical answer. There’s really just figuring out some systems and strategies to help yourself get through, get up and keep going. You will still have the thoughts. But maybe they won’t be as impactful to you, or as frequent.
If this makes sense to, laying the groundwork before diving into a big exercise and nutrition plan, I invite you to check out the Healthy, Happy Workshop (<<<<click right there) to learn more about it.